Declan Cashin

Writing: the art of applying the ass to the seat

Adorable. Starring the swoonsome Julian Shaw.

Great piece in the Village Voice.

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This is a hilarious and spot-on parody of Twilight actress Kristen Stewart’s immensely irritating mode of, um, speaking [notices my hair]. Watch and howl.

Award season is in full swing. Check out more FYC posters here.

My review of Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part I in ‘The Scene’ in today’s ‘Irish Daily Star’

William and Kate, how are ya? To the legions of devoted Twilight fans – known as ‘Twi-Hards’ – the real wedding of the year is between immortal dreamboat vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) and his human fiancée Bella Swann (Kristin Stewart).

Those swoonsome though freaky nuptials between the bloodsucker and his bride dominate the opening section of Breaking Dawn, the first of two movies that will bring the mind-bogglingly successful series to a close this time next year.

That’s a savvy marketing trick that resulted in a box office bonanza for the last Harry Potter movie, but the results here in terms of quality are just as mixed as they were with Deathly Hallows, Part 1.

Still, fans won’t be disappointed since they know the Twilight series has used three movies to build up to a huge moment when Bella will not only lose her virginity to Edward, but sacrifice her humanity to become an ageless vampire.

That’s a lot of pressure for any honeymoon, and indeed things don’t pan out as expected for the loved-up pair in their Brazilian island paradise.

Things become more complicated – and deadly – when the seemingly impossible occurs and the new Mrs Cullen becomes pregnant with a hybrid baby that looks set to devour her from the inside-out.

To make matters worse, the pending birth of Bella’s demon spawn re-ignites tensions with the Wolf Pack, causing all sorts of problems for conflicted Jacob (Taylor Lautner, who is shirtless within 10 seconds of the movie starting).

In truth, it’s hard to escape the feeling that Breaking Dawn, Part 1 is just setting the scene and holding back all the juicy stuff for the real finale.

Indeed, the action is pretty thin on the ground, but luckily it makes up for that shortfall by wildly indulging in many of the book’s most twisted plot developments, and balancing out the ‘Team Edward vs Team Jacob’ melodrama with flashes of humour (some of which may be unintentional).

That Breaking Dawn works is down to the confident direction of Bill Condon, the Oscar-nominated writer-director of Gods and Monsters and Kinsey, as well as screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg, who has done a decent job of streamlining author Stephanie Meyers’ clunky prose into something resembling a coherent plot.

There are still some serious fundamental flaws in Twilight’s overall story, and the three young leads continue to struggle with their paper-thin characterisations.

Stewart, in particular, remains the weak link in the series: her thankless, anaemic role might make her a tweenage-goth heroine to Twi-Hards, but to the rest of us she’s simply the dumbest, most infuriating female character in modern cinema.

That said, the movie builds to a gripping and gruesome climax, while the soundtrack throughout is as ace as always with the Twilight series.

It’s not perfect by any means, but Breaking Dawn might just be the weirdest, trippiest teen movie in years. That alone makes it the most compelling in the series so far.

Pretty big claim made in the trailer for Titanic 3D, which will be released next April.

Michael D Higgins’ inaugural speech as the ninth President of Ireland.

This film, by Irish cameraman Andrew Clancy, will make you want to book the first flight to the Big Apple.